Allan's Pistol Shack & Phish Phan Club

Proud to announce Allan's Pistol Shack & Eyeglass Emporium's first annual Beach & Bullets getaway to beautiful OCMD. Trip is $750 per person and includes round trip bus, 3 night/2 day hotel stay, and two full cowabunga clips of ammunition. Don't miss out on this incredible summer getaway! Tell Allan Makowski he makes bodacious bites to receive %10 off the trip cost. Happy summer shooting, everyone!

GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS RONALD REAGAN

While getting comfortable in the optometrist's chair after a long day of selling firearms, I heard the high-pitched whine of some birkenstock-wearing liberal babbling about Ronald Reagan not being a good president. And let me tell ya, my blood boiled so hot that if you cut open my veins it could've flash-fried a water buffalo. I sat up so fast that I cracked my forehead against the fancy eye-checkin' machine and staggered, in a concussion-induced stupor, into the waiting room.... According to the arrest report, I ripped open my shirt like Hulk Hogan before giving that America-hating hippy a leg drop off the receptionist's desk. Now I'm stuck in some imagining center getting a brain scan and they handcuffed me to a bed because I don't have no stinkin' fascist Obamacare. So, come to 'Allan's Pistol Shack & Eyeglass Emporium' this afternoon, where I've marked the prices so low that you'll think I have brain damage. See more