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When Siblings Can’t Agree on What to Do With an Elderly Parent An elder mediator doesn’t solve problems, but paves the way for family members to solve problems together. By Glenn Ruffenach, Wall Street Jounal... July 2, 2020 12:41 pm ET My siblings and I are at odds over how to care for our mother, who is widowed and not in the best of health. She wants to continue living at home, but two of us think she needs to move to an assisted-living community. (A setting that seems problematic at best, given the coronavirus.) And if she moves, there’s no agreement about whether she should stay in the same area or move close to one of us. Any ideas about how to tackle this? At some point, depending on how deep your disagreements, you might consider working with an elder mediator. Mediation, of course, is an effort typically involving an impartial third party to resolve disputes. Among the specialists in this field are elder mediators. Such individuals help families work through concernsand fightsinvolving caregiving, inheritance, living arrangements, estate planning and related issues. Needless to say, I hope you and your siblings aren’t fighting. (It sounds as if everyone is still talking.) That said, while sisters and brothers typically know one another well, they rarely have occasion to work together to solve big problems. And that’s where an elder mediator can help. A few basics: A mediator doesn’t solve problems; rather, she or he paves the way for family members to solve problems together. (Think: facilitate.) The process might begin with a mediator talking with family members individually, or it can move straight to group discussion. A good mediator also can enlist, or point you toward, other professionalssay, a geriatric-care manager. In this case, your mother might be afraid of losing her independenceor simply have a fear of aging. A professional who is able to identify such issues can also help break impasses that often divide siblings in this position, such as disagreements over time, effort and money involved in caring for a parent. Several services and groups can help you find an elder mediator. Mediate.com lists individuals in private practice by state and city. The Academy of Professional Family Mediators (apfmnet.org) has a directory of mediators, as does the Association for Conflict Resolution (acrnet.org). How has your family worked through caregiving challenges and disagreements? Join the conversation below. I recognize that all of the above might sound straightforward, even easy. It’s not. Mediation, by all accounts, is hard work. Family members today often are scattered across the country; siblings frequently are pigeonholed in decades-old roles (the smart one, the pretty one, the malcontent); agreements normally aren’t binding; and happy endings aren’t guaranteed. Still, if you, your siblings and your mother are at an impasseand before relationships are rupturedmediation certainly is worth a try.

My assistant Judy Hewitt became one of a handful of the first Remote Notary Publics in Pennsylvania. Just imagine doing what you would normally do with a Notary Public, but it is all done on a platform similar to Zoom (but much more secure!) It does require some tech savvy on the part of the user and relatively up-to-date technology.

WHAT IS INCLUDED IN A CHILD SUPPORT ORDER? Pennsylvania law requires that child support be awarded pursuant to statewide guidelines, which is simply a formula to calculate a parent’s share of basic child support. The guidelines, which can be found at Pennsylvania Rule of Civil Procedure 1910.16-2 through 1910.16-7, are suggested amounts of support, based upon a presumption of the cost of raising children statewide, the parents’ net monthly incomes or earning capacity, and th...Continue reading