Lifespan Consulting and Coaching

Dealing with Your Child’s Emotions During COVID-19 COVID-19 is stirring up a lot of emotions. The challenge is that many of the coping strategies we usually have available to us can’t be implemented right now. Hanging out with friends, any outdoor or out-of-home activitymost of these are off limits now. And we are social people, so we prefer doing many things with someone rather than alone. We are also learning, how, in the age of tech, so many children are unaccustomed t...o really entertaining themselves. So, while your child may present with boredom because of the restrictions on their activities, it’s also worth considering reframing their emotion or its root as loss. Loss never feels good, and what’s especially hard about it is that we usually have no control over it. We are helpless. Remember that in so many facets of their life, children do not have control over what happens to them, and now they have even less. With this in mind, try gently reframing in your own mind their expressed boredom as a loss of what they would normally do. That reality is frustrating, aggravating, and angering because something out of your child’s control has wrecked their world yet again. You can see that this suggestion is more about realization and acceptance than of change. But it enables you to have a conversation around accepting something that is unpleasant but that will be relatively short-lived. It won’t last until they are 20. And even if it lasts for a year, you can put up with a lot for a year if you know that afterwards things will return to normal. What past things were unpleasant or hard at first, but are now largely forgotten? What things have happened in your life that were undesirable at first, only to open doors of opportunity or help you learn something about yourself? I once took a spin class with an instructor who at the very end of the spin would give us a hill that seemed unclimbable or a sprint that seemed way too long, and he would remind us that we could endure almost anything for three minutes. We can endure this. We can remind ourselves and others around us that this will not last indefinitely. And no, you don’t need to suggest that it may forever change our lives. If it does, we will cross that bridge when we come to it. Isn’t the point of your reading this to help your child now? You don’t need to teach them all the lessons of life at once. But if things do change, here is also something we know about ourselves. We can adapt, and often after we do adapt, we can’t imagine a life that could be different. It’s about getting through this with a perspective that we can apply again down the road. At the end of the day, if we come out of this okay, which is likely from the statistical information we have available from the CDC, we’re good.

To be sure, these are unimaginable times. It’s like being in a boring but scary sci-fi movieboring only because every day is the same, but I don’t particularly care for the unending suspense. As a psychologist, when faced with these kinds of situations, I try to ask myself whether there is anything of purpose I can learn from them. The most immediate and obvious challenge is learning how to manage anxiety. Having control over anxiety is an increasingly valuable human qu...Continue reading

For over twenty years, I have served as a clinical and school psychologist, working with children, families, and their schools (both public and private). I have also maintained a private practice, where I have consulted with parents and worked with their children to address any issues that could impede their academic success and emotional well-being. These roles have enabled me to witness the perspectives of all participants (i.e., students, parents, teachers and administrat...ors). I have observed students over the entirety of their school trajectory, seeing all of the issues that can challenge and compromise their success and happiness. As a result, there are few issues that can occur during one’s schooling experience with which I am unfamiliar. My intention on this page is to share my knowledge with you so that you can ensure the smoothest school journey for your child. This page will be a resource for parents, helping them best address the unavoidable situations all parents must deal with communicating with teachers, attending parent-teacher conferences, and interpreting the underlying messages embedded in report cards. These situations often need to be carefully thought out, often more than one might imagine, and such consideration better ensures that you and your child’s journey will be a smooth one. I will also address more challenging situations that can arise, such as friendship issues and bullying. My primary topics of focus will be Thriving in competitive schools, public and private Diversity and inclusion in the school world Social life (e.g., friendship, meanness, and bullying) Emotion coping Content will come from several sources: Mainstream media Research that I will make accessible to you My own anecdotal observations I look forward to making your child’s journey through school smoother. I also hope in the process that you become less worried and more self-assured about the steps you take as a parent. Hopefully, you will apply some of the knowledge I share here to your child’s life beyond high school, because the issues don’t really change over time and valuable advice is usually applicable across one’s lifespan. From time to time, I will post brief podcasts and maybe even a webinar or two. I also welcome your questions.