Rachel Millner, Psy.D.

A gentle reminder that food is not the enemy. Not now. Not ever. You’re going to be exposed to comments that imply food is the enemy. You know better. You know the truth. . The enemy is diet culture. The enemy is the culture that tells us we need to be scared of food. Scared of our bodies. Eat all the foods you want. Enjoy the foods. And when fear or guilt creep in, remind yourself the food is not what harms you. Diet culture is. . Image description: in black text on white background with purple border, test reads food is not the enemy this holiday season (or ever). Diet culture is.

You are not to blame for diets not working. The system is set up to make you think any failures are your fault. We need to name the harms in the systems and name that diet culture is rooted in white supremacy. . Image description: in black letters on white background with orange boarder, text reads Common messages from the diet industry such as: lack of willpower, visualize the change you want to see, if your diet is failing it’s because you’re not prioritizing weight loss, etc., are rooted in white supremacy and the idea that if we just work harder we can manifest whatever we want. The fact that diet culture even exists is because of white supremacy. The valuing of some bodies over others is white supremacy. The diet industry is white supremacy. The system is to blame. Not people.

Bodies aren’t meant to be the same weight throughout our adulthood. Bodies change all the time for all kinds of reasons. Your body isn’t doing it wrong. . Image description: on white background with purple border, black text reads I sometimes hear conversations about set point weight as if there is some weight our bodies want to be at- and stay at- indefinitely. The truth is bodies change all the time. Whatever weight you are when you’re eating freely and flexibly and moving- or not moving- your body in a way that feels responsive and kind to your body, is your current set point and that weight may change, even when you’re doing all the same things, and you have a new set point. Your body isn’t doing it wrong. The messages that there’s one weight we are always meant to be at are wrong.

Healing is uncomfortable and hard and you’re not doing it wrong. Go slowly, my friends. Go gently. Pause as you need to. Take care of yourself in the most compassionate way possible. Trust yourself. Trust your process. Trust all that is possible. . Image description: black letters on white background background text reads: Healing happens in the uncomfortable places within us. The places that are scary, but most need to be seen. The places where our hurt lives and we want to... look away when we know we need to look towards. In the feelings we least want to feel, but know we need to. The healing happens as we slowly, compassionately, patiently turn towards the discomfort and let it be there. It happens as we unearth the truth in the most gentle way possible, knowing that even with gentleness, the discomfort will be there. Knowing that even in the discomfort, we aren’t doing it wrong. See more

Your feelings are real and important and matter. Fear of weight gain in this culture makes so much sense. Talk about your feelings in therapy. Or with a close friend, or friends, who have consented to these conversations. Write about it. Feel it. But don’t talk about it publicly. And don’t talk about it in front of fat people. . Your intention may not be to do harm, but the impact is that they harm fat people and that impact matters. . Image description: black text on white b...ackground reads When you talk about your fear of gaining weight while healing from your eating disorder, I know you don’t intend to harm fat people. I know what you intend is to say the fear of weight gain only applies to you and you don’t care if other people gain weight. I know you don’t intend to harm fat people. And the impact is still that saying these things harms fat people. The impact matters. See more