The xxcollective: Modern + Wellbeing

Put on lipstick to visit my grandma That is all. #momgoals

Three years by your side This past year was a rite of passage for our little family, riding the waves of the total insanity. We became parents without a village ( #pandemicbaby ) And we silently (and sometimes very loudly) surrendered to our inner monsters, baring witness to the world’s heavy hand, everything changing within and without.... And our reward is River, our little everythingour guiding light. I can’t imagine a life without you in it. And since the day we met, I feel my dreams just coming true It is really all thanks to you, supporting me and us, you are my biggest champion and I will forever be yours Leveling up together with you @redbearblue And we have only just begun And thanks to all the angels that love us, too #myloves #lifepartner #allthelifetimespartner #babydaddy #bearded #handsome #babe #anniversary

Sometimes you have to burn it to the ground and start over again, sort of Empty the cupboard, shop around the house for baskets get organized WITHOUT Feeling the pull to purchase, to burn through money, to distract yourself from the point... What’s the point? Mindfulness. Your sacred attention to the spaces you occupy. To the way you move through them. Body language matters, your babies (fur babies included, partners included) see and FEEL the way your energy moves through you. If you are feeling frustrated - you are human! If you are feeling hyper - you are human! And the more you practice awakening to the feeling/energy that is driving the action, the more you get to CHOOSE how to be human, in the moment. Thít Nhâ’t Hanh taught me to do the dishes to do the dishes when I wanted to absolutely disappear, and I found my hands covered in suds, and so I was reunited with my body and thus mySELF who was hidden, but remained, at the center of my being-ness. She was there, all along. I was still me, sacred and connected to this earth. It’s a dance, you see. One waltz (or chore) at a time. #mindfulness #consciousliving #parenthood #teachablemoments #integrativesocialwork #somatic #mindbody #xxcollective

We are laughing a lot! And I every day I learn more about how to parent myself as I parent this baby. Are we eating well? Are we warm enough? Are we rested? Did we steal some sunshine? Are we creating housework rhythms? Are we asking for help? Are we finding time for stillness? Are we expressing our feelings, big and small?... As an integrative, trauma-informed sexological family-focused social worker (that’s a lot of descriptors, i know I love learning and helping people) I have many tools. But becoming a parent (in a #pandemic ) is a next-level education about limits, communication and a need for #community connection. Parenting is the long game, the longest game. Stamina and boundaries are a must, although we can find grace knowing that there is room to negotiate and renegotiate these limits with time. And with boatloads of self-compassion. Finally reordered those vitamins I know I need because I’m breastfeeding and went gray yesterday River’s going though a growth spurt and has been generously helping himself to all my calories. Finally asked my partner if we could make a plan for me to find a solid hour a week to practice yoga so I can cope better with the pace of all this. Finally made five lists of things I want to get complete with, but not in the former I’m-a-Capricorn push through the my kind of way, but in an accepting one-hour-a-day kind of way (thanks, grandma, I love you). My life’s work is focused on authenticity, vulnerability, trauma-informed conscious collective awakening. We can choose to parent ourselves, each other, and these children with the tools we have, or find someone to add to our skill-sets when we feel In the muddy thick of it. This is a journey, folks. Not a destination. Love to you, from our family to yours. #traumainformedcare #conciousparenting #mindfulliving #vulnerability #flow #onehouratatime #integrativesocialwork #reishimushroom #wellness @mardukmedicine

The hardest lessons and the most beautiful light beams burst from my heart daily. This is the kind of love that moves mountains, remarkable beyond all my imaginings. River Lawton Schulz, you are 8 months old! As my beloved mama @lavenderblue427 always says to me on my birthday you made me a mother. I love you snuggle bug in a rug... #newmama #mothersday #everyday Love you too @redbearblue

Here’s a video of a baby learning to coordinate his hands, feet, legs, arms and mouth #coordination #isnotjustforcapricorns #Lol #virgobaby

Home. Dear one, May you be always blessed with magic and curiosity... @caya_art @tifanitruelove @lavenderblue427 @courtneykokus @kelseymcbelsey @ludkills @redbearblue

This stud #mylove @redbearblue

The beauty of deep connection The tension between honoring thanksgiving traditions with our family while holding the truth of the terrible origins of the day for many families The complicated reality that we are unemployed with a baby in a pandemic, we’re tired as hell, feeling post-partum anxiety from little sleep and all the things... But we are thankful Thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you thank you For blessed rituals, for new traditions, for nourishment, clean water, sips of champagne, for medicinal herbs, for our family, for our health, for taking it one hour at a time, for this precious little one who we believe in so much #newtraditions #practicepeace

Becoming A Mama in This Wild Time It feels natural in some ways, despite the absolute agony of 2020, of seeing our SOON TO BE FORMER president throw salt in the deeps wounds of so many. I have been taking my care of other people’s babies my whole life but my commitment to my son is now beyond my wildest imagination.... Simone de Beauvoir said One is not born, but rather becomes, a woman And this process of becoming is also true for parenthood. And Eugenia said it so well the other day You crack open, your psyche kind of explodes and expands and you can see all these parts of yourself you couldn’t see before. Things that were hidden, revealed Dusty Memories of that music box from my childhood, the sounds of comfort crawling back to me over decades of experience. Little t traumas, a lost language of childlike wonder. If I can give him one thing, it will be the freedom to feel big feelings in complete safety as long as possible. I just want him to know I am here, I am here in the form of the million songs I have already made up to soothe him, the million kisses I shower him with daily, the million wishes I have for him To exist in a big wide world that wants for his thriving. Our Democracy is not perfect #statingtheobvious There is much work to do, but I feel the sea change and I know that what I feel Resonates in my baby’s heartbeat, a resonance to reach every being the whole world through Thankful, hopeful, healing #democracy #healing #parenthoodjourney #parenthood #makingabetterme #peace #accountability #timeforchange #metoo #antiracisteducation

When there’s no work to do #forrest #meditations #familytime #rewilding #babieswhohike

Self-Care and #motherhood Tenderness and regeneration discovered in the folds Of time with women who are healers,... Within the folds of soft curtains, the red tent Within the folds of myself made warm through tea and steam rising into the place from which both My #matrescence and my baby Emerged just Six weeks ago Thank you @jsugarmama for holding space and holding me accountable for my own self-love and #healing On this path to profound selflessness #vaginalsteaming #postpartum #selfcare #traumainformed #traumahealing #sextherapy #somatic #theissuesareinthetissues