Nazareth Gold

Five years ago today I had my #vestibulectomy. I was scared, nervous, and equally ready. I've been sitting here trying to think of something meaningful to write. Nothing profound has come to mind, but then again that wasn't what I needed moments before my surgery. I needed reassurance. I needed someone to tell me it would be OK.... Allow me to do that for you. Everything will be OK. Things won't look like the Bride of Frankenstein afterwards. I promise. You will still have pain, physically and emotionally, for some time. You will take two steps back before you take one step forward. You will reach a point where you believe the surgery failed. You will uncover other imbalances in your body and think that something is wrong with you. You will wonder why new problems keep arising, when in fact they are not new. They were there all along but overshadowed by your pelvic pain. You will feel hopeful, frustrated, exhausted, replenished, angry, resilient, sad, and grateful. You will come to the conclusion that this is the best it's gonna get, and you will make peace with that. Then one day, you'll notice you didn't feel as much pain after a long road trip. Or standing. Or walking. Or during intimacy - or after. You will heal. You will become whole again. You'll be afraid to believe it at first. It will be strange, but slowly you will become reacquainted with your body. You'll discover what life looks like without the struggle. You may never be entirely pain free, but things will get better. Surgery is just the beginning. So much recovery continues to happen years later. Just when you think you've tried everything, there's something new to learn. Don't give up. Don't stop trying. YOU WILL BE OK. And I'll be rooting for you. (To the man behind the camera, my love and life partner.. Thank you for holding my hand every step of the way.)

Strength training and #vulvodynia. I thought twice about sharing this because it's basic. These are boring to watch. I had my dumbbell in the wrong hand while lunging But, I am not here to impress anyone. I'm here to educate, and the basics matter. This is a typical workout for me. I use dumbells, kettlebells, and resistance bands. Current weight range is between 15-40 lbs. I'm currently into unilateral movements and prefer compound exercises.... There are prerequisites to any movement - you're watching what I've worked up to, not where I started. This didn't happen overnight. I will discuss everything in greater detail in future posts. For now, there are three things I want you to walk away with. 1. I felt zero pressure in my pelvic floor. 2. I did not have a flare up afterwards. 3. I breathe really loud. #vagofhonor #basicbitchworkouts #vestibulectomy #pelvicfloordysfunction

Several lovely individuals have recently asked me about my #vestibulectomy and recovery. Although I stepped away for a while, I feel inspired by their stories to share once again. I want to focus on the healing aspect. This is for you if;... a) You have #vulvodynia and were (or are being) treated. b) The pain has improved. c) You're considering surgery, or recovering from it. d) You relate to all of the above and feel stuck. You're (kinda) better, but you still don't feel like yourself. When it comes to vulvodynia, there is quality information regarding symptoms, treatments, and relaxation. What's lacking for pelvic pain sufferers is any kind of discussion about STRENGTHENING YOUR BODY. Not because you have dreams of being the world's strongest person, but because you dream of doing the things you once did. Basic things like standing or walking for long periods of time. Or more strenuous activities such as endurance, resistance, or playing sports. I will do my best to show you what is possible, but not right now. I'm feeling lazy. Please hang tight - no pun intended . P.S. #randomtalkingvideo is back.

Inclusivity ain't hard. @badgirlriri and @savagefenty prove just that. The music, the dancing and choreography, the visuals... everything is stunning. I thought last year's show was diverse, but this year blew me away even more. Women, men, gay, straight, drag, gender fluid, skinny, fat, white, brown, pretty, "ugly", whatever you wanna call it, it's represented. And I loved every f'n second of it.... My new life goal is to be part of this show and let all my bits and pieces wiggle and jiggle and not give a shh! Bravo to all involved for creating such an inspiring, uplifting, feel good show. I highly recommend you watch it. It's good for your soul. #victoriasecretbettercatchupquick #vol2akavictoriasecretsfuneral

Chronicles of healing; Allow myself to feel good about myself. #bombassthighs #bombassmirror

#HellYouTalmbout #SayTheirNames